Be Imperfect 

Recently, I was stunned to hear that there are societies that wish to eliminate the possibility of giving birth to children with Down Syndrome. I understand that having a child with a big challenge is not a first choice. But I wonder how far people will go to get only perfect children and what perfect even means. 

If you lined me up with my eight brothers and sisters, we do not match. I am the only one who finished college. I am also the only one with little to no athletic ability. I am the only one who leads a large nonprofit. I am also the only one with little to no mechanical ability. Who do we think is the perfect one? Who will go to college, or who can get your washer up and running again? What does it mean to be the perfect child? You can’t choose, you can’t predict everything.

With technology increasing, you can now learn if your child will be born with Down Syndrome, and you can decide to terminate the pregnancy. But what happens if your perfectly healthy child at birth suffers an injury in a car accident and loses cognitive ability as a result? We cannot predict everything.  

All these thoughts came to my mind when I read an article about a parent whose son was born with multiple challenges, physical and cognitive. The article included a picture of the mother and son—the love on their faces was infectious. She describes her lifelong advocacy for her son’s benefit. If she had not needed to advocate for him, there would have been many other things in the world that needed her attention. 

The world is not perfect—none of us are perfect—but it needs us all. While we can hope for a level playing field for everyone, we will all encounter problems—health, economic security, weather disasters—you can create a long list. We can decide to be resilient and continue doing our part. 

A few things are confirmed when I see people who have succeeded in living their lives to the best of their abilities, in full appreciation for their giftedness. They could be better. They love. They are loved. Someone paid attention to their need to contribute and made a place for it. The old expression “perfect is the enemy of good” may be true.