No Sticks, No Stones, No Names

This is our last month to get ready for our accreditation review with CQL (The Council on Quality and Leadership). It’s an exciting time for us. Over the years, we have set goals to deepen our understanding and grow in our practices – to see the value in every life and every person. We have challenged our assumptions about what is possible and made some amazing dreams come true. Going through the accreditation process required us to reconsider our practices. We had to let go of things that really weren’t right and weren’t person-centered. We did that with a growth mindset and avoided hurtful language.

As children, we were taught a phrase to respond to those who used name-calling and tried to assert dominance over others. It went like this, “sticks and stone may break my bones, but names shall never hurt me.” The idea is straightforward. It acknowledges the impact if someone attacks you physically. It asserts that you will never let someone’s hateful talk affect you, hurt you mentally, or damage your spirit. This is easier said than done.

The intention of the words that bullies use is to cause hurt. The hurt can come in more than one form, and you can react in multiple ways. You can just be alarmed and want the person to stop. You can challenge yourself to find ways to change the person’s mind. You can pray for them to understand the depth of the hurt they cause. You can reason with them to explain what they are saying isn’t true. You can join with others in some way to help stop the hurtful talk.

The hurt multiplies when you start to believe the unkind words. Heh, maybe I’m not as worthy as I think. Maybe there is some truth to their talk about me, people like me. Maybe I should just be quiet about it. In those cases, my wish is for people feeling this pain to reach out to someone who loves them and get a pep talk. It could even be useful to seek some counseling, or mental health support. Talking down to yourself can make you believe that you are not the gifted, important person that you are. Talking down to anyone is not OK.
Some people want you to feel inferior to them. I am reminded of another expression, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” This expression is attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, one of the most outspoken champions for justice of her time. We need to follow this advice. Of course, it is easier said than done.

In these first few weeks in Washington, the new administration has made multiple remarks which have left people feeling unsafe. Comments have been made against DEI initiatives, against federal employees, against people with intellectual disabilities, and against Lutheran and Catholic organizations. We do not accept them.

We are not the only organization out there who is helping people. We are joined by others in asserting the importance of the work we do, and the dignity and respect everyone deserves. We want you to feel safe and to be your gifted self here. We have supports in place for you if you need to talk with someone to rally your energy and remain resilient. Here at KenCrest we know that you are worthy of respect, and we are passionate about creating a place where your gifts matter. If there is something more you think we can do, let us know. We are listening.

Here are a few resources:
• To submit feedback to the leadership at KenCrest, use this SnapSurvey. Please note, you will have the option to send your message anonymously, or not.
• To access Carebridge, our employee assistance program
o Call 800.437.0911 or
o Email clientservice@carebridge.com or
o For online services log-on to: myliferesource.com and use the access code: 3AC8A